Our Families
This year 2015 is going to be the year of the family. In October the Ordinary Synod will convene in Rome to continue the discussions and deliberations on the family begun last year and we pray that these will continue to be inspired by the promptings of the Holy Spirit. We cannot of course predict the outcomes but on this day when we celebrate the feast of the Holy Family it is right and proper that we reflect on how important our families are and on what can be done to support and sustain the family as the ideal unit of love and freedom and growth.
I think those three elements are vital for all families and if one is lacking then the other two will become distorted and unable to flourish properly and adequately. Every family whatever its make up will find that it will go through moments of difficulty and dysfunction; moments when those elements of love, freedom and growth are tried and tested to the limit. In the eyes of their children, parents inevitably at some stage become overprotective, inflexible and unbending whereas in the eyes of their parents, children become ungrateful, wilful and headstrong. As a result the bonds that kept the right balance between love and freedom and growth become strained to breaking point. It is how you manage loosening those bonds without causing them to rupture and severe that is skill of honouring the family. Of course there are no easy answers to how to achieve the right levels of equilibrium, but it is fair to say that communication is paramount to overcoming problems and to resolving differences. Unless we talk and share our concerns then the more difficult it becomes when it all starts to fall apart. The essence of communication is trust and if we are able to trust each other then our love is secure, our freedom enhanced and or growth ensured.
The greatest affirmation of the family comes from the fact the God gave us his Son to be born into a human family. This is the most powerful witness to trust- that God himself became dependent on the fragile family bonds of love and of freedom and of growth remaining secure, even though from the outset, this trust was tested to the extreme. Remember that Joseph had decided to divorce his wife when he found she was with child. Think of the how the precocious young Jesus decided to stay behind in Jerusalem without informing his patents. Recall how Jesus’ family are concerned for his mental sate of health when he leaves home to begin his mission. Even this “holy” family experienced all the same stresses and strains that assail every family.
Motives may confuse us, explanations may perplex us and decisions may bewilder us. Such confusion, perplexity and bewilderment played their part in the family of Jesus; Joseph’s confusion when he heard that his wife is with child by the Holy Spirit. Mary’s perplexity when confronted by an audacious response from her son. The family’s bewilderment when they seem to have been publicly rejected. All of these are familiar emotions that every family will go through and here they are, present and active in this family. But communication and trust are brought to bear through prayer and understanding. Joseph heeds the revelation of his dream, Mary ponders in her heart her son’s words, and the young Jesus lives under their authority and matures in freedom and love, such that when the moment arrives, and the question is asked: Who is my family it leads not to a public rejection but to a deeper integration into another family which will be forged at another time and another place, when Jesus in the presence of his mother and the beloved disciple, draws us all into the family that is the Church.
Let us pray for synodial decisions on our families that are made in love, to ensure that every family will grow in the freedom of God’s trusting care for his children.
Feast of the Holy Family
Our Families
This year 2015 is going to be the year of the family. In October the Ordinary Synod will convene in Rome to continue the discussions and deliberations on the family begun last year and we pray that these will continue to be inspired by the promptings of the Holy Spirit. We cannot of course predict the outcomes but on this day when we celebrate the feast of the Holy Family it is right and proper that we reflect on how important our families are and on what can be done to support and sustain the family as the ideal unit of love and freedom and growth.
I think those three elements are vital for all families and if one is lacking then the other two will become distorted and unable to flourish properly and adequately. Every family whatever its make up will find that it will go through moments of difficulty and dysfunction; moments when those elements of love, freedom and growth are tried and tested to the limit. In the eyes of their children, parents inevitably at some stage become overprotective, inflexible and unbending whereas in the eyes of their parents, children become ungrateful, wilful and headstrong. As a result the bonds that kept the right balance between love and freedom and growth become strained to breaking point. It is how you manage loosening those bonds without causing them to rupture and severe that is skill of honouring the family. Of course there are no easy answers to how to achieve the right levels of equilibrium, but it is fair to say that communication is paramount to overcoming problems and to resolving differences. Unless we talk and share our concerns then the more difficult it becomes when it all starts to fall apart. The essence of communication is trust and if we are able to trust each other then our love is secure, our freedom enhanced and or growth ensured.
The greatest affirmation of the family comes from the fact the God gave us his Son to be born into a human family. This is the most powerful witness to trust- that God himself became dependent on the fragile family bonds of love and of freedom and of growth remaining secure, even though from the outset, this trust was tested to the extreme. Remember that Joseph had decided to divorce his wife when he found she was with child. Think of the how the precocious young Jesus decided to stay behind in Jerusalem without informing his patents. Recall how Jesus’ family are concerned for his mental sate of health when he leaves home to begin his mission. Even this “holy” family experienced all the same stresses and strains that assail every family.
Motives may confuse us, explanations may perplex us and decisions may bewilder us. Such confusion, perplexity and bewilderment played their part in the family of Jesus; Joseph’s confusion when he heard that his wife is with child by the Holy Spirit. Mary’s perplexity when confronted by an audacious response from her son. The family’s bewilderment when they seem to have been publicly rejected. All of these are familiar emotions that every family will go through and here they are, present and active in this family. But communication and trust are brought to bear through prayer and understanding. Joseph heeds the revelation of his dream, Mary ponders in her heart her son’s words, and the young Jesus lives under their authority and matures in freedom and love, such that when the moment arrives, and the question is asked: Who is my family it leads not to a public rejection but to a deeper integration into another family which will be forged at another time and another place, when Jesus in the presence of his mother and the beloved disciple, draws us all into the family that is the Church.
Let us pray for synodial decisions on our families that are made in love, to ensure that every family will grow in the freedom of God’s trusting care for his children.